• I got defensive when somebody critique the way I speak “This is how I speak. If I had to change, I rather not speaking at all.”
  • For most part it is true that I hate to have to change. Why should I follow a standard created by other people?
  • But it turns out that if you want to live with those people who held that standard, you have to learn their language.
  • Imagine you’re going somewhere abroad — whose language totally foreign to you — and expecting them to understanding the way you say it. …

When we had a problem and found the solution, we felt like we know everything. We’re not. It can be that:

  • The problem is specific to us. More over the solution!
  • We have not fully grasp the problem and therefore the solution is far from adequate.
  • And so on, etc.

Thus it could be that when we shared what we experienced and teach it to others, it could be condescending.

Of course it is oblivious to us the ‘teacher’: we still think that we’re that great. Unknown to us that it is irritating for the listeners.

If you want to…

We always looking for the perfect words that always come out wrong.

Perhaps to get it even decent is to speak it out loud. Whatever you had in mind. At heart. And you’re gonna make tons of mistakes. And one of them will happen to rung a person at a moment. And everything turns all righty.

It is a cinderella story. A story that you don’t make, yet happened. A story that you only know the initial, not the body, and definitely not the ending. It is just a forecast. It could be wrong. It could be right. …

“How do you feel when you sing?”

That was the line by Mr. V in the Coda Apple TV+ series asked to his student whom had a hard time singing her true voice.

Reluctant. Unable to grasp the question yet being pushed to say something, she resorted to body language. And…. Mr. V gets it.

How often somebody asked us about how we felt about something? A lot of people asked about how does it perform or how much your business generated profit this year. But almost no one asked about how we feel. …

  • Teaching is a very frustrating experience. You have to explain — and that implies — that not only you have to speak right, but also the student must understood as well. The student experienced equal frustration. Not only compelled to read & listen, he is expected to understand as well.
  • Speaking is easy. Listening is easy. You just speak. You just listen. But understanding is… well beyond our control. Let’s talk from the student / listener perspective first. When you listen, how to make yourself understand the subject? None. You could replay the cassette/video again if you mishear some part…

When it comes to trauma, the immediate issue is to find someone to confided in. That raises another: whom can be trusted? For being mislead for the 2nd or 3rd time really magnified the damage.

There is no easy answer to that. Common sense would tell “ Check the track record of the person, bla bla bla”. But there is no guarantee. And being traumatized, we’re not in the best position to evaluate objectively.

But what do we need from a confidante, really? Someone whom will listen to our story & someone whom can give an honest advice. …

Because first, people love to be listened more than listening to someone who talk about themselves. Secondly, the only way to be interesting is to be relevant to the listeners.

How many times we talked and talked and think we’re going strong with our material when not realizing that room has gone cold? Sure a few nod here and there. But the atmosphere has long changed and you didn’t noticed.

Be Listener First


Ask question. About the listener. Ask personal question. Don’t be afraid that it could offended the person, though if you’re not sure you might want to start with the…

If somebody caught you off guard asking “What you loved?” You’ll paused for a moment and think. And it’s hard to come with an answer. Yes, it’s because we never really know what we want, other than what we had affirmed ourself with. Society, culture, and god-knows-what has told us — has bombarded us - with the message: That you should know.

You don’t.

There’s a reason for that. We loved doing what feel like doing at the moment. In another word: being spontaneous. Holding back — and rethink for a second — already ruined the experiences so much so…

An interesting quote from Warren Buffett — one of the most richest person on planet earth as well as one of the most simple lifestyle — that he is work that he loves. He will work even if not paid.

Life is temporary. We come with nothing, we leave with nothing. So people who got trapped in the idea that they should save now for later — without clear idea when to used it — will save indefinitely until they die. What’s all the hard work for? What’s all the sacrifice for?

Thus it is important to have plan not…

When you want the pleasure but not the pain, that’s what creates anxiety.

So it’s simple. If you want it, you take the pleasure with the pain as well. If you think it is not worthy enough, you dropped it.

Hansel Yapadi

Imagine Global Platform Within Our Hands

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